Everything you need to know about offline dating in 2020
Dating is changing. Get ready to leave the ghosting, orbiting, cuffing, swiping and shallow chat in 2019. In the new year we want something real, authentic and honest. Read on to find out how dating is going to look very different in 2020.
Multi-Apping is OUT
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OKCupid, Match… it’s thought there are over 1400 apps in the UK alone (are your thumbs sore yet!?) and the number is constantly growing as more and more tech companies try to profit from our love lives.
Research has revealed we’re spending on average 90 minutes a day (that’s 22 days a year!) scrolling through dating apps. In 2020 we’ll become even more aware of the preciousness of time and how social media (and that includes dating apps) are designed to keep us addicted to our screens.
Imagine what else you could be doing with those 90 minutes? Like, for example, attending an IRL dating event, asking your cute colleague for a drink, or going to that art class you’ve been talking about for years where – guess what – your new partner could also be hanging out!
Get off your phone and out into the world in 2020 if you want a dating life that is about quality and not quantity.
Conscious dating is IN
We’re bringing far greatest consciousness to how we consume most other things in life (like where our food and clothing comes from), so 2020 will see a rise in ‘conscious dating’ too.
People aren’t disposable resources to dismiss or trade-in for a better model. Conscious dating can be as simple as understanding the age-old wisdom of “treat others how you wish to be treated”.
What does this mean in practice? More investment in getting to know a finite group of singles and less aimless swiping. Take the time to really get to know people in all areas of your life. Ask questions, pay attention and make eye-contact.
Even more important – pay attention to how being around certain people makes you feel. If someone makes you feel warm and content, that’s a good sign, so be aware of your sensations.
Goodbye orbiting, ghosting and every other bizarre dating “trend”
Apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Happn have undoubtedly spawned a new species of dating trends, most of which we could really do without.
I call these dating “trends” what they actually are: bad manners.
When it comes to successful dating, the simple truths are worth remembering: if someone wants to date you, they’ll date you. Everything else is just game-playing, and you’re worth way more than that.
The internet is a wonderful thing. It’s brought us cat videos and Netflix and for that we can be grateful. But it has also facilitated far greater disconnection between people. From self-service check-outs, to ordering your take-away on a friday night online, we seem to have forgotten the value of a random chat and smiling at strangers.
This lack of regular micro-interactions – and of course the massive impact of dating apps – has also seeped into our dating lives. So many people are afraid of approaching people because they don’t want to come off as predatory or harassing. I’m not suggesting you start using cheesy chat up lines, but I am saying that genuine interactions by engaging with your surroundings (instead of your phone).
It’s impossible to fake your social skills when you’re IRL; you’re forced to go with the flow of the conversation. It’s the opposite of spending all day over-crafting a two-sentence text message.
I say bring back random chats with strangers! Keep one of your earphones out when you’re out and about listening to music or a podcast and see what opportunities start opening up.
We crave connection and authenticity. Every day we are flooded with an overwhelming amount of information and distractions, most with the sole motivation of hijacking our time and/or money. So when a modern single person meets someone who’s able to engage them on a deeper level and without ulterior motive, you can form an incredible connection.
Goodbye hiding the real you
With so much fakeness online, people will increasingly want genuine connection and authenticity in 2020. Offline dating offers this as there’s simply less room for phoniness and fake photos. Energy doesn’t lie and I always urge the people I work with to trust their gut when they meet new people.
Dating in 2020 is all about bringing you REAL self to the party. My whole mission is to throw out the rule book and focus on helping you forge true, deep connections. Connections that change your life and have you falling madly, truly in love with your person.
Please, don’t cover yourself over or only show the “perfect” parts to your dates. Do whatever you damn well want on a first date and you’re more likely to 1) Have a good time and 2) find someone who loves who you really are.
Hello sober dating
A first date can be a daunting experience, and many people rely on ‘Dutch courage’ to get them through. But alcohol can also cloud your judgement and move things along much faster might soberly be comfortable with.
I’ve shared before about the rise of Sober dating and how to make it work for you. This is more than a mere passing trend and more and more people are understanding the value of interacting as our true, vulnerable selves.
With sober dating, the substance that matters the most is the personality of the person you’re choosing to spend time with. This is a clear-headed chance to be deliberate about who you are getting into relationships with instead of just waking up in them.
Join the deep connection revolution in 2020. Put down your phone and embrace real, authentic interactions. If you’d like to meet others who want to date with authenticity, join Tailor Matched by creating your free introductory profile in 6 simple steps.