I’ve rounded up the best tips and tricks for sexual exploration when you’re away from your lover. Read on to discover why you definitely don’t need to bump bodies to still get your thrills.
Self-quarantine without your lover can get mighty lonely. But there’s no need to forgo sex and intimacy altogether. Physically-distanced sex has some obvious disadvantages compared to the in-person kind, but it’s got its own thing going on too. For one, you’re guaranteed exactly the kind of stimulation you want, and you can indulge your voyeuristic and/or exhibitionist tendencies. So if you’ve found someone you can absolutely trust and you need them badly, here’s what to do of you want to try a little digital sex date.
Get Consent Before
I recommend partners talk to each other about what sorts of interactions might feel best now, and with what frequency and duration. There should be consent in place for remote interactions just as there is when in person, especially if you want to bring in a little kink.
Use A Couples’ App
Couples’ apps like Couple, We Did It, and Happy Couple help couples stay connected and get to know each other long-distance, and more R-rated ones like Desire help keep the spark alive. InTheMood is great for couples who want to flirt and communicate their desires across long distances. You might find you’re more playful and at ease if you use a separate app, as opposed to texting sweet nothings in between practical messages.
Set the Scene
Just as IRL, you need to set the mood before you get down and dirty via the magic of the internet. Tidy your space, make your bed, light a few candles and dim the lights – just as you would if your lover was physically with you. Maybe even create a sexy Spotify playlist and have it playing in the background while you connect with your lover. Create a sensual ambience for your digital get down just as you would if your date was staying over IRL.
Dress Up For The Occasion
Don’t show up for a sex session in jogging pants, even if it’s not happening in person. When you’re not able to physically be with your lover, you have to work harder to keep the romance alive, so that means pulling out all the stops when you have date nights or a sex sesh planned. Plus, sexy clothes = sexy striptease as a little added foreplay.
Us your mouth
Think: dirty talk, moaning, and heavy breathing, however unnatural these things may feel since you’re alone. Digital sex is supposed to be an interactive event between you and your partner, so make sure that they feel included. You want them to feel like they are right there with you – so use your voice to let them know exactly how turned-on you are by the thought of them watching you.
Consider an LDR toy
You don’t have to be in the same room to sexually stimulate each other. How do you accomplish that with miles between you? Through teledildonic toys, of course. OhMiBod’s Bluemotion Nex 1- 2nd Generation, Club Vibe 3.OH Panty Vibe, and Fuse can all be controlled remotely via an app. We-Vibe’s Sync also connects to an app that lets you and your partner video chat, so you can experience sex with all your senses.
Exchange NSFW Films
If you’re shy about being naked on video, consider filming yourself in the dark or just recording your voice as you masturbate. Filming yourself in the throes of solo passion might be too intimidating, so consider sending a very short clip of your self-pleasure session filmed in the dark. Your lover will benefit from the sounds, and the lack of a clear picture helps to build mystery and anticipation.
A surprisingly sexy twist on a FaceTime session is to show your faces only. As you touch yourselves with toys or hands, tell each other what you’re doing and let your imaginations handle the rest. Watching someone’s face – and being watched – up to and through an orgasm can be surprisingly intimate. It’s also super comfortable; just lie back in bed and you’re good to go.
Play the Director
‘The Director’ is a fun way to make Skype or FaceTime sex a lot hotter. During this roleplay, either you or your partner is going to become ‘The Director’. If your partner is the director, then they are going to tell you exactly what to do, for example, “Touch yourself”, “Massage your breasts/cock” or “Turn around”. It’s up to the director after all! Don’t forget to take turns playing this sex game.
Video chat hookups can be a fun experience with someone you’re dating if you do it right. Keep it fun, lighthearted, sexy and experimental – this might be the opportunity you’ve been looking for to introduce a little role-play into your sex life, so be open to the unexpected joys of social distancing.
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